How To Protect Yourself from Dangerous, Wild Turkeys

By Jim on November 20th, 2008

Well this has to be one of the silliest articles I’ve seen anywhere for a while. Have people in Boston become so stupid that they don’t even know how to chase away a few wild turkeys? It boggles the mind, really.

“No one ever guessed turkeys would become comfortable in urban and suburban areas…biologists thought these are very wary birds, there is no way they would get used to people, said Marion Larson, a biologist at MassWildlife. “But they found food in those places and they stayed.”

The birds, if you’ve seen them on the side of the highway or maybe walking down an urban street, can be three or four feet tall and weigh up to 20 pounds. They can be very aggressive – especially if a person is not. And if you feed them, well, expect them to literally follow you. Last year, the Globe’s Keith O’Brien did a very funny story about their interactions with Brookline residents at http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2007/10/23/turkeys_take_to_cities_towns/

Massachusetts Audubon Wildlife Information Line coordinator Linda Cocca says the first thing people should not do is feed the birds. Giving them food directly or leaving it on the ground for them makes them become more aggressive. Here are other tips from Mass Wildlife:

* Don’t let the turkeys intimidate you. Don’t hesitate to scare or threaten a bold, aggressive turkey with loud noises, swatting with a broom or water sprayed from a hose. A dog on a leash is also an effective deterrent.

* Cover windows and other reflective objects. If a turkey is pecking at a shiny object such as a vehicle or window, cover or otherwise disguise the object. Harass the bird by chasing it, squirting with a hose or other means of aggression.

* Protect your garden and crops. You can harass turkeys searching for food in your gardens. Dogs tethered on a run can also be effective in scaring turkeys away from gardens. Netting is another option to employ. In agricultural situations, some scare devices are effective.

* Educate your neighbors. Pass this information along: Your efforts will be futile if neighbors are providing food for turkeys or neglecting to act boldly towards the birds. It requires the efforts of the entire neighborhood to help keep wild turkeys wild. Turkeys are important and valuable birds in Massachusetts. They are classified as game birds for which regulated hunting seasons and management programs have been established.

Um…how about getting a shotgun and whacking one during hunting season? Oh wait, nevermind. I forget this is Boston. You’d probably get the death penalty for it down there. And you probably can’t use a bow either as that’s probably outlawed too.

Hmmm…maybe the people in Boston could negotiate with the turkeys…you know…reach out to them and try to bring the turkeys into the fold? Show them the virtues of diversity and tolerance?